he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
