I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
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mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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