they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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