I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
