11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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