he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
