The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize