Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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