i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
