she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
