so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
