wrigley field is MILF paradise
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
