Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
