I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Swine flu is the new snow day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
