Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
