meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
