Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
