I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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