Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
