he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
