i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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