is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
