There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
