I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
