i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
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So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.