One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled