I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...