i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
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two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.