Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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