After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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