Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
