If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
