Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude i'm inner monologue high
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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