Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
