No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
