sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
whose parrot is this?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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