he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
