Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
