you didnt know i had herpes?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
