We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
