So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
