i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you win again, gameday.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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