Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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