tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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