I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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