ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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