can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
where does the pee come out of this thing
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
