I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
