just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize