It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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