I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
