I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
