We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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