:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
