I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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