Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
