i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
