dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
