you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
