She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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