Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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